grant

yesterday i went to a presentation about fellowships and grants. how depressing! there's no hope there for me, which is sad because my research is going to cost me thousands and thousands of dollars! there's TONS of stuff for americains, of course, but the presenter explained that they were only for the "tax payers" and not for international students. as if WE TOO didn't pay taxes! about $200 of EVERY PAYCHECK i get goes to the country, the state, or the county! disgusting! oh yeah, there were are few grants for international students: $500 per year, $1000 per year... but the other grants the presenter showed us for americans were $30.000/year, or $10.000 per year, for example...

other than that, good news, i was trying to explain on my other blog how the american higher education system works and what i have done and am doing, and writing this out kinda made me realize that i've done A LOT of stuff and have gone pretty far! not everyone is going as far as i have gone. it feels like it because i'me surrounded by people who are doing the same thing, but if i get out of purdue, what i'm doing is quite an achievement. and the presenter of the grant stuff, yesterday, told us that only 15% of the students who start a PhD at purdue ever actually finish it!!!! FIFTEEN PERCENT!!!! that's amazing!!! i need to be in those 15%. wonder why the other 85% quit...

damn, there were so many people at that presentation, it's pathetic, we're all begging for money... and ALL of us of course were in the school of liberal arts... many in the english dept, and many international... and thus many depressed people left the meeting. thank goodness, there were good cookies!