it really happened :)

ze end

i am in canada. finally. it really happened. things are going relatively well even if it's going to take a while before i'm used to living here. everything is different and i miss my quiet little cornfield and my easy life. my appartment is a mess and i have thousands and thousands of dollars of credit card debts to repay for the next 10 years. but i'll be ok, i think.

work hasn't started yet but i'll probably survive. when in doubt, i re-read the post i wrote after my interview there.

i am closing this blog now, after some hesitations because i enjoyed having a quiet, almost private place here for my english-speaking friends and anyone who's going through a phd and job search. i'll leave the blog available so people can find ideas and stuff, but i won't write anymore. i made the final decision this morning, when i read that a very famous blogger was fired from her job because she had talked about it on her blog (among many other things), although she had never mentionned her name nor the name of the place she worked at.

i wouldn't write mean things about my new job or people (i don't think i have done so too often in the past, and i've never named the very few that i criticized openly), but i think that even writing ANYTHING about my new job and people might put me at risk. it's very sad, because i see this blog as a way to help other phd students and people that are new to the job market. it's also a strength of mine, that i can keep records of what goes on in my life, work, and studies, and share tips, ideas, suggestions... but it seems that these kinds of skills are not yet recognized by most employers and are instead seen as a threat (which it can be, at times, i know). oh well.

i've loved writing here and it's helped me a lot go through my phd. i've also loved the comments and suggestions that my very dear readers have written here. thank you!

you know where to find me, and if not, just email me at lmoussu [@] purdue [.] edu so we can keep in touch.

doctor

got an upgraded credit card with DR written in front of my name. funny...

got a phone number and internet connection for my new place, and my mail forwarded from here to there. got the international health certificates for the cats. still so much to do!!!!

blah

i'm not doing anything productive regarding my book. nada. but i'm leaving the country in a week!!! for good! i can't believe it yet.

TQ

haha, got TESOL Quarterly's latest issue today and there's my book review in it :D ok it's only a book review, but now i can say that i've been published in TQ!

in other news, i'm trying to write a first chapter/intro to my book to send it together with my proposal (which i haven't written yet) and it's very, very hard to make myself work. someone has written a paper that we'll use for this first chapter, so it's half of my work done, but still, it's almost more work, now that i have to collaborate, see what we can use and not use in his paper, etc, and he's in japan so it's not like we can meet and plan stuff easily. ok, i shouldn't complain because this project is working quite well so far, i've had 5 or 6 positive responses so that's good, considering that it's july and everyone's gone.

i need to work on this thing, i need to work on this thing, i need to work on this thing...

packing...

i'm packing, packing, packing. not fun, and i'm bruised, scratched, and exhausted!

i sent the book proposal to some people and got two three positive responses already. now they just need to translate into real chapters and quickly enough...

i haven't been working on my article or anything else, i'm terrible... but really not motivated at this point.

here are some pictures of a few friends. if you're not on this and think you should be, send me a picture and i'll add it to my album :)

today i'm going to indy to buy a plane ticket for... venice! yep! $1300... and to the lafayette grill for brunch, ha!

la suite...

working on the few revisions i needed to make to my dissertation, printing the final stuff, and today, i'll go have it binded. working also on the report i need to send to each of the participating school director, and on the article i want to send to TQ. and then i'm packing too, of course.

i still need to:

- send the paperwork about graduation + the work permit + new address to the lawyer
- get a certified check in canadian dollars for first month's rent
- get my driving records from the DMV
- call aol
- type and print (3 copies) my two lists of boxes (1. what's in the truck, 2. what comes with me)
- get the cats' health certificates
- call my car insurence
- send 20 postcards (devinette)
- call the power company
- find someone to clean before i leave the country
- say goodbye to 200 people
- get an internet connection in canada
- write chapter 1 of the book
- get the graduation stuff ordered and verified
- clean and empty my office

- have the oil/filter + tires checked on my car and change the windshield wipers
- send individual report about my research to all administrators
- call my phone/internet provider
- call the school about health insurence
- return fox' dissertation and margie's books
- buy an air mattress
- work on book proposal and send call for chapters asap!
- check what's going on with the nnest interview
- call the credit bureau
- close my many banks accounts except for one
- cancel my many credit cards except the amex
- call amex to get a new card in canada
- email my dissertation to the two psych guys
- verify that my credit history arrived safely
- ask about how to pay my rent in july and where my mail will be kept
- send my syllabus to Adrian asap!
- buy some kind of screen for the car / cats
- have a transcript sent when i graduate
- buy mac programs while they're cheap

this list may grow longer with time...

bye bye

my other blog doesn't work :(

anyway, i am not sure what i should do with this blog, because i like to have an almost "private" place where i can just complain or write short and meaningless stuff about my life, and i like that some people can read it because it's in english, unlike the other one. maybe i'll keep it alive for a while just to keep in touch with some dear friends. let me know what you think.

i went to the great big north and got my work permit at the border, one less thing to worry about! i was really overwhelmed with the size of the city at first and i think it's going to take a while before i feel comfortable there. it's very much like new york: very busy downtown and then huge, spread out neighborhoods, some nice and some less nice, some interesting and some creepy... i started feeling a little better when i found an apartment after a few exhausting and discouraging days. the place is very nice (indoor parking, gym, sauna, golf, etc.), on the 20th floor, and right by the lake (and the expressway, haha). and 3 blocks away from chinatown, yumm!

i also went to the university, hoping to find someone that i knew or to talk to the HR people or someone who could get me my new email address, or office number, or something... but didn't find anything useful and everyone was gone. i was ready to leave when i suddenly met my mentor (which i didn't know but she recognized me, not too many small, read-headed, walking-with-crutches chicks around town, i guess). we talked for a few minutes and she was very nice. then i left town!

i am still nervous about living in that city. it's not just that it's big (i've been to chicago, los angeles, and many other big US cities and felt perfectly fine), it's also that it's very "intense" and crowded and people drive like... new-yorkers i guess ;)

news

got the phd, got the canadian approval, might be able to get the full permit at the port of entry TOMORROW!

this blog's name is finally appropriate (but its death might be imminent)! thanks to all of you, and in particular Xiaoye, Scott, Aca, Kiara, and Musarde for your support :)

the truth finally comes out...

my visa request was never filed. we don't know (or won't tell) who made a mistakes somewhere. so it was (re)filed on thursday afternoon (again), with a "priority" label on it, except that the person who's supposed to take care of it is on vacation for a few days. so it's like "priority after i come back from my vacation." or maybe "the person who is on vacation for a few more days will take care of it... because the rest of the people working here will be on vacation all summer."

so i still don't know when (if) i'll get that first approval.

i still don't know if i have to send my passport to detroit.

i still don't know if i can spend a few days there to find an apartment next week.

i still don't know when i can ask the movers to pick up my stuff.

i still don't know if i should ask for an extension of my apartment lease (for an extra $300).

i still don't know what my brother will do in canada for a month if i can't be there in july.

i still don't know when (if) i'll get the second approval.

i still don't know if i'll be able to start working on the 1st of august.

i could continue this list for a few pages... but it's maybe simpler to say just this one thing: I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!

dammit!

i don't see how this work permit thing is going to work. even if i get the first approval now, i still need to wait 6 weeks at least for the second approval, which takes us right to the very end of july. and i just realized something absolutely horrible today: i might (must???) need to send my PASSPORT together with my application, which means that i won't be able to leave the US until i actually HAVE the permit, which means that i won't be able to go to canada in a week to find an apartment :( which means that i won't be able to find an apartment until my job actually starts. what am i going to do with my stuff??? how am i going to move my stuff??? am i going to arrive there on the first day of work with all my stuff in a truck and no place to put it??? i am shaking, and i don't think i'll be able to sleep for a long time!

i'm leaving town for a few days, which doesn't help... oh god, this is not good!!!

almost nervous

i'm working on some revisions and articles. the defense is in a week. today's the first time i feel some anxiety, a little bit of panic. not much, but it's here. i think it might be more because of the still-missing work permit than because of the dissertation defense, and also because i've started packing and i'm trying to find an apartment there already, and it scares me a little to be going to such a huge city. but anyway, i hope it won't last because it's not fun.

i have a hotel reservation there from the 15th to the 20th.

i hate big cities!

done, for almost real this time.

printed and binded 5 copies today: $122.91. and that's nothing compared to the final copies with special paper and special purdue binding.

i'll be working on two tesol proposals due the 1st of june for the next couple of days, then on my TQ article and my book proposal (oh, i wrote to a journal a few weeks ago with an idea about an article and they wrote back saying that they'll be waiting for the article in october). then i'll leave town for a few days. yep, i'm outa here! sick of this place. gotta go visit someone i haven't seen in exactly 10 years!

and then there's the defense of course...

still nothing about the work permit, i think i'm going to cry very soon... or look for another job...

2 days left

and still 2 chapters to revise.

i am going to write a book, huhuh, sounds pretty funny. like "faculty member" sounds pretty funny too...

empty

the blogosphere is dead, france is on non-stop vacation in may and it's memorial day in the us next monday. very discouraging to feel so isolated again. i need to turn in my final draft all nice and binded on tuesday (can't do anything on monday because of memorial day, dammit)... and it's going to be a close call. i'm revising chapter 7 right now (the longest and most boring) and margie still hasn't returned my chapter 8! my fingers are seriously feeling like they're going to fall off very soon and my arms and back are killing me. plus it's super super hot and humid, now, yuck.

just a few more days...

still no news about my work permit, i should get the first part now, as in NOW NOW!