2005--first goals

before jan. 10:

- finish this f£?"*+%&?%*&! article
- make a website for 106
- work for the international student registration
- respond to old emails of good friends
- write to the irb to ask about the forms
- find out about tesol's server for the caucus
- apply for nnest caucus' chair position
- submit a proposal for the iawe conference before jan. 8

during winter/spring/summer:

- teach one class in the winter (106)
- continue writing on two blogs
- continue working on statistics and seeing tutor
- go to ca-tesol in long beach in march
- try to find a grant for fall
- find out about teaching 227, 002, and/or 505 in the fall
- register for fall teaching
- get a grant for the summer
- go back to france for a week for the baptism
- get a "pass" in legal issues in education and international administration
- write the 2 questionnaires for students
- test the questionnaires, statistically analyse the results, and rework them
- write the questionnaires for teachers and administrators
- get IRB permission for the study at all 3 levels
- find translators for 10 languages
- work on the iawe website and conference
- present something at the iawe conference in june
- find participating schools (500 students)
- find different school accreditation associations
- work on the nnest caucus' website
- talk to participating teachers/administrators
- translate/re-translate the questionnaires in 10 languages
- find new articles and do the lit review (50 pages min.)
- talk to k-12 teacher and figure out what to write about that
- start new research about k-12 issues
- go to tesol in april in san antonio
- make changes about nnest caucus' organisation after tesol

during fall:

- go to every school at least once before starting the study
- give the first questionnaires in august
- try to get a grant for winter
- interview teachers and administrators at least once
- start coding the interviews and entering the data from first questionnaires
- teach two new classes in the fall (227 and 002)
- present something at the in-tesol conference in november
- start looking for a job and sending job applications
- register for winter teaching
- give the final questionnaires in december

2005

i am so scared about 2005 that i am tempted to throw myself in the Seine and die... it'd be less painful!

that's it!

that's it.

merry new year and happy christmas.

may your thesis/dissertation be completed and your career successful this year! may you write many articles, become famous, present at tons of conferences, find the job of your dreams, and get some rest during this winter break!

tchüss!

yeah... and...?

that was a bit anti-climatic, this defense. nothing, really, just too easy and boring. makes me mad that i was so worried for nothing. i got all those people wishing me good luck on my other blog and me making a big deal about it... for nothing. hah. was it so easy because i was very ready, or because they made it too easy for me? i try not to doubt margie, but she is SOOOOO nice that sometimes it's hard to believe that she's that nice to EVERYONE.

just realized that i haven't even STARTED to think about the website for my teaching next semester! dammit, i'm going to have to spend the whole break on it... or just copy an old one... but still, it's a lot of work. i'm done with grading their final papers, though, and that's one good thing.

cats are sick... we all three should be on prozac, i swear!

am not doing anything with the IRB. i should just write them an email and ask about the forms in need to fill out, but i just don't feel like doing anything these days. i want to live in vancouver, one day. that's my dream, to find a job there. canada, rain, ocean, mountains, and big city. dream.

ABD mon amour

that's it, i'm done with the damned prospectus!!!!! yeah!!!

ok that was way too easy... talk for a little more than an hour... tell the same things i've already told margie 20 times... explain a few concepts... blah blah... i really expected something harder. plus no one cares to read my chapters until margie's approved them, so basically i won't have to deal with 200 different comments on the same thing, one person asking me for more details and the other to be more concise.... huhu...

kiara said abd meant allowed to be a doctor... huhu... so nice :) i'll remember that one!

told margie i won't work on the damn thing during the break, i'm burned out!

i need to:
- work with the IRB
- finish TQ's article
- learn to use SAS
- find participating schools
- find translators
- work on my questionnaires
- start the lit review
- etc. etc.


DOES IT EVER END???

D-Day -1 !!!!

yep, tomorrow might be the last day of my life i'm not ABD! hah! whatever.

saw T. today to ask him if he had read my prospectus and could think of anything problematic he could hold against me, he said no, everything looked fine. saw S. then, and was going to ask her the same thing but she said she hadn't read the thing yet, she still had 48 hours so why was i rushing her... huhu... i said ok, i'll ask you tomorrow then... or i guess i'll ask you on wednesday... she said, yeah, i'll tell you on wednesday! hah... dammit! she's nice. but she seems like she's nice and then could be mean. but i've had to deal with her about serious stuff and she really was nice. but she always scares me somehow... couldn't ask B. because i couldn't find him, and anyway, scott tells me he never reads things until the night before.

am i scared? yep.

not scared of the defense itself, i like to talk about my stuff and i'm comfortable speaking in public. but i'm scared of meeting these people for the first time, really. not literaly, obviously, but meeting them for the first time as my committee, as people who will work with me on this @&$^!@&^%@# dissertation for the next decade or so. scared of how picky they'll be, how slow or fast in their feedback, how helpful, how similar or different in their requests, how encouraging, how... anyway... i have never worked with S. and B. and T. either, really, i just had a couple of classes with him. wouah, yeah i'm scared.

so scared actually that i've had bad headaches for the last 3 days... and i keep eating junk food and all the time... and i sleep a lot too, too much, with sleeping pills... and i feel like everything's blury and unclear, like my brain's not functionning, like the lights are on but i'm not there. result of my car accident? or the defense? or anxiety about my trip home? or all of the above??

d-day -3

defense of the prospectus next wednesday... i remember when people who have now graduated were defending theirs and i was thinking woah, that seems so far, those people are so cool and so lucky to be there already... huhu!

haven't worked on anything lately except the IAWE conference website. s'taken me an awful lot of time and it's not wonderful and all but it's working and doing what it's supposed to do. ended up doing most of the work other people were supposed to help me with but that was just easier and faster. i'll finish it up tomorrow and then i'll just be a few changes here and there as i get more info but nothing big. glad to be done with it!

still trying to find the "drive" and motivation for my dissertation research. and also to finish this #@(*!#! tesol quarterly article, darnit, it's not THAT hard, now that i have the new data, i just need to sit and write for 5 hours or so and then it'll be DONE! when i read kiara's blog and she's complaining about doing too much work and never being able to stop, i envy her, i wish i had that much energy and drive to do my work.

visitor from unh, say hello, who are you?

oh yeah, to see my cool new truck, go there! haha!

under the weather

defense is in a week
wanna be done
no energy left right now
kinda tired
wanna be back in europe, enough of this place already!