new deal:

ok so this award that i got was not for $250! haha. well it was but then i don't know what happened (because i... hummmm.... didn't follow the instructions...) but somehow, it became $1250! yep, they added an extra thousand box. mouaaaahahahahha! just learned that today. good day! the only thing is, it's MY money and i can use it any way i want (i don't even have to use it for my students!!) but it's not put into my account, it's the kind of deal where you get reimbursed or where you tell them what you want and they buy it for you. sounds like a pain, BUT:
- since it's annoyingly difficult to spend it i won't spend in on junk in two days
- it's there until i graduate (in 2 years) so i can spend it any time i want for two years
- it's not put on my paycheck so i won't have to pay taxes on it
- it's not like the usual kind of award that i get where they take THIRTY percent of it for international taxes
- i have to go to two conferences (san antonio and long beach), make hotel reservations there too, pay for translators for my questionnaires, photocopy a gezillion questionnaires, travel to all the participating schools all over the US... i THINK i can find ways to spend that money!
- i don't think i'll spend it on plane tickets, though, because then i wouldn't get skymiles... but i don't think that'll be a problem! i don't think finding ways to spend $1250 (1700 euros) is EVER a problem!

huhuhuhuhuhuh!

when i think i wrote the proposal for this award at 4:50 when it was due at 5:00 that day... and then sent it while thinking "i hope i don't get it because all the training and things i'd have to do with my students is not worth the $250 i'd get for it!"

huhuhuhuhuhuh!

positive

let's try to be positive for once!
so yesterday i worked on my questionnaires. i'm glad because i have some good stuff for administrators and teachers. of course, the student questionnaires are the most important ones and i haven't even started on them, but hey, at least i'm doing something.

i was thinking about next fall, when i wanted to do the actual study before i changed my mind and realized just how crazy i was to think i could do it then. i'll have to teach TWO new and different classes which also means having to add two mentoring classes! all this while having to travel all over the country to different schools throughout the whole semester... haha. of course, i could teach boring 106, but even that would be tough since i'd have to teach every day! and as scott said, i can't do it all... and i do want the experience of teaching something else than this 106 nightmare, so there, here goes a sacrifice for the good cause.

i wonder if i should ask for a job for this summer. i've asked for money and don't know if i've gotten it, i'll go ask jill about that... but even if i did get the money, i could work... the extra money would pay for the traveling for my research, since so far i don't have an iota of funding...

oh, something else: i got this email from B. yesterday about receiving some teaching award plaque in april... i wonder what it is, since i already got the teaching award for last year and they can't possibly give me an award for last semester's teaching since it was such a desaster... and if it's a continuation of last year's award, it's strange that it's a year later... so anyway, if it's a different/additional award, that'd be a good surprise :)

talking about awards (yes, i CAN be positive when i really try), i thought i had lost that library award i got for this semester since i ... well... didn't exactly follow the requirements, but the lady wrote me the other day and said that i would still get it! yeay, $250... huhu... well anyway, that'll pay for a couple of nights in long beach for CATESOL in march. not bad.

the deal

so here's the sad deal. i was going to get a phd in 4 years instead of the usual 5 but no, looks like i won't. i sooooo want to get out of here and now i'm stuck here for another 2 years. depressing also to tell myself that i was just not able to do it all and well. had to drop the international administration class, which was by far the best class i've ever taken, but i'm keeping law, which is tough. and hopefully, i can get back to working on this f'ing dissertation. plus going to conferences. plus working on the IAWE website. plus finishing my TQ article. plus taking stats lessons. plus giving more time for to students so that last semester's desaster doesn't repeat itself. plus going home this summer for a couple of weeks.

dammit, twenty seven more months here!! i am beyond depressed!!!!

dad

talked to my dad, i don't know why i deserve such great parents.
still need to talk to margie and someone else before i make the final decision... a tough one! really tough!

f..k!

this idea started to germinate into my brain this morning and tonight it's taken all the space... and there was a LOT of empty space to take so it's bothering me a LOT!

i can't be rational. i can't be reasonable. i can't make such a decision all by myself.

i can't make this decision at all! that's not even an option!!!! so why is it in my head like that? why does it seem so obvious? godness, i HATE to have to think about this.

title VII of the civil right act of 1964

sexual harassment
affirmative action
academic freedom in research and publications
contractual considerations
minority scholarships
codes of student conduct
academic sanctions
institutional recognition and regulations of fraternal organizations
discrimination on the basis of disability
violent crimes on campus
sales, admissions, and amusement taxes
trespass statutes and ordinances
state provision of public postsecondary education
open meetings and public disclosure
medical services and medical research
occupational safety and health act
trademark laws
environmental laws
disputes with funding agencies
title IX
section 504
antitrust laws
patent laws
money damages
the state action doctrine
trustees
institutional tort liability
hold-harmless and indemnification agreements
scope and terms of contract

dammit dammit... and these are just a few of the things i will learn about this semester... VERY interesting, but the problem is the following: i can't do it all!!! I CAN'T work towards my dissertation and take an insanely difficult law class and take an international administration class and teach and BREATHE all at the same time! reading 60 pages of law texts and 60 pages of stuff about international student and staff regulations PLUS grading 20 papers IS ENOUGH for one day... the dissertation stuff, which is not an URGENT matter like the others, takes the 539th place on my list of priorities for the day.

... oops?

oohhh yeah!!!

one good news: i found THE article i needed about school administrators and the type of questions to ask them about nnests. yoooopedidoooooo!!!

ok so it's -17 degrees celcius, there's nothing else to do than read my law textbook or read my international administration textbook or read my new articles about nnests and stuff. good. nah, this long weekend (monday off) i managed to read 603 pages in 6 hours (couldn't stop reading once i started) about law... haha, just kiddin, it was a book i got for christmas!

besides the fact that waking up early is a real pain, i like to teach in the morning: i feel like my whole day's still ahead of me when i'm done teaching every day. feels like every day is a friday and tomorrow should be saturday. yeah, i don't know if that's a good thing!

anyway, i like my students so far, better than last semester's.
i wish tomorrow were saturday for real...

plus j'avance et plus je recule!

i don't know why things are not going as well as i want them to. so ok i didn't forget the happy hour and had a fun time for my birthday. but i already have panic attacks when i think about the two classes i am taking-- and NO, i can't drop them, they are the two most important classes i'll ever have taken in 25 years of school, but also the hardest ones, by far! even phonology was a joke compared to the law class!

i have found a list of translators, a few accrediting associations and schools, but not many schools that would fit my study. i am wondering if i won't have to give up on the idea of going to those schools myself. that would allow me to use schools all over the country and not just schools that are not close to here. i could do that if i could develop a very good way to survey students, teachers, and administrators online!

other than that, i read articles, request new ones, read the new ones, request more articles... and feel like i'm wasting my time. i need to concentrate on writing the surveys, but i don't know why, i don't know how to do it!

as for the TQ article... i wonder if i'll ever finish it...

yeah, all is not going well so far.

things to do:
- write to karen in IU or rosie in kentucky to ask her about online surveys
- buy lia's book
- WRITE THE DAMN QUESTIONNAIRES!

UCIEP

seems the best because it's programs attached to universities.

ohio state: 10 weeks/4 levels
ohio: 10 weeks/4 levels
ashland: 7.5 weeks/4 levels

indiana: 7 weeks/7 levels

carbondale: 8 weeks/6 levels
uichicago: 13 weeks/5 levels (good?)
uiurbana-champaign: 15 weeks/5 levels (good)

michigan state: 15 weeks/4 levels (good)
wayne state: 15 weeks/5 levels (good)
western michigan: 15 weeks/4 levels
ferris state: 15 weeks/3-4 levels

iowa state: 15 weeks/6 levels (good but far!)
uofiowa: 16 weeks/? (good but far!)

nothing in kentucky or wisconsin...

... yeah, not so great after all...

through CEA:

western michigan: 14 weeks?/4 levels (good)
william rainey harper
wisconsin: 8 weeks/8 levels
indiana state: 9 weeks/5 levels
western illinois: 16 weeks/? (good)
michigan state

damn!

got that too: AEP

first things first

done:

website 106
syllabus 106
work for ISS
email responses
send bills to sandy
registration catesol
registration micrograde
proposal iawe


to do in the next two weeks:

email esl happy hour
email thursday's party
food for thursday
email statistical consultant
write schedule for next week for 106
add shuttle + change title for iawe website

write questionnaires for students, teachers, administrators
find translators
look for iep accrediting associations
look for participating schools
finish article
send questionnaires + forms to irb
print old articles
read/summarize 20 articles

useful stuff

ISS translators
IPE accreditation

CEA

NAFSA

ACCET

AAIEP

UCIEP

about accreditation

fll dept: 494-3828

drafts:

Margie: everything
B.: a chapter at a time after Margie approves it
S.: a chapter at a time + bibliography + outline of whole dissertation + deadline
T.: final thing.

+ find a definition of what "qualified" means!