HO LLY COW!

one school sent me 103 initial questionnaires and i just got 95 final questionnaires from them today. now, this is THE school that was the most careful with asking students to answer ALL the questions, especially the personal stuff like birth date, birth place, etc., and it still took me almost FOUR HOURS to match those initial and final questionnaires! i did it by language, and then by country (with spanish speakers) and gender and birth dates. there were some new participating students, and some students who didn't participate the second time (but not many), but overall, i was able to match most of the questionnaires. the hardest ones to match were the arabic ones, because they would write their birth date in arabic once and english the second time, or use the christian calender once and the muslim one the second time, for example... so there were several questionnaires that i was unable to match and i'll have to go back and finish it with my date and arabic translators which i didn't have with me this afternoon.

there were also a few problems with people being unclear on things, like they wrote the date once but not the first or second time, or they mixed up the order of the date (9/5/81 vs/ 5/9/81)... and also the one who said he was from colombia once and from chile the second time. i'll never thank enough the psych teacher who told me to add the birth CITY to the questions, since this person was obviously born in one country but raised in another. by the way, these cities were often inconsistant and i could tell that often, the student would once write the closest large city that everyone knows (like i would say i am from paris), and the other time, they would write the actual name of the place they were born in (boulogne-billancourt, for example, a very close suburb of paris) (but i was REALLY born in paris, in my case).

practically 4 hours, for 95 questionnaires! and that's the school that was the most careful with dates and all! i hope veronica's going to help me when we get more questionnaires in, otherwise i'll lose my sanity very soon!

i have a practice job interview on monday. need to work on that!

stats

printed and binded book 2 today, an extra 400 pages of stats. it's amazing that i can go through it and actually understand most of it, and know where things are, where to find what, and go back and forth between my two books and find exactly the information i am looking for in a second. i love that i can take note on the paper, put marks here and there, and underline, circle, scribble, think on paper... i'm old fashion, i know, i just can't get used to seeing all those numbers on my computer only and make sense of them. for example, i'm looking at different variables and if they significantly influence the students' answers. i can go through my book and put a little yellow sticker on the pages where language makes a difference, and a red sticker where age makes a difference. then when i'll write it all up, i can just go and find things in seconds!

spent 3 hours in the stats consulting office with my consultant this afternoon, talking about different things we can do, how i can analyze stuff, what all those numbers mean. i'm ashamed to say that i wasn't sure if we should use a scheffe or tukey or fisher because of the multiple comparisons we're doing with the ANOVAS. i ended up using fisher because it can only look at the statistically significant stuff and i didn't want to look at the unsignificant stuff in the first place. tukey had some problems with the sizes of the groups, and scheffe was too conservative (although it was nice because it does use unequal groups). ok, i need to get back to my stats book before i actually finish my chapter three, to explain all this with details that will make sense.

other than that, the classes i teach will not be too much work until the last few days, since we have conferences and student presentations. but then, final papers will be turned in, and then, ohhhhh.... ouch! yesterday i bought a plane ticket to go to washington dc between christmas and new years, which means that i'll spend christmas here alone... not fun... and my plane leaves from washington on the first of january at 8:30 in the morning, haha! nice way to start the new year :)

i work best with bach's keyboard concertos playing, and a cat or two at my feet. it helps me breathe.

things to remember:

- when you're doing some statistical analyses with the data you've collected, make sure to ask your statistical consultant for help on how to analyze and interpret the results! otherwise you find yourself with 1,400 pages of numbers and it makes no sense and it's a mess!

- when you have student papers to grade, don't procrastinate too much, because then you have five hundred thousand things to grade over thanksgiving break and it's not fun!

- when people give you directions, read them carefully even if you think you know what they're talking about!

- when you have to wake up at 7 in the morning, don't go to bed at 3 in the morning because you've watched some idiotic movie on your computer!

- when you need to do a study "at the end of the semester," don't think the postal system actually works, and send your stuff to your participants really early! really! even earlier than that!

- when you are thinking about a research design for your study, think about the kinds of analyses you will be able to perform on the type of data that you will collect BEFORE you start collecting it!

- don't make up your own statistical procedures without checking first with a statistician! ... even if in the end, things work out well, by chance...

- when you're using participants once and you want to use them a second time, make sure you write down who they are in the first place, and how to find them, otherwise you'll never see them again!

- go to bed, sometimes!

news from my cornfield

worked on chapter 3 all day yesterday. it was a mess, because i had kept the outline format that i always start with, and it needed to be formated to a readable, normal text. i added a few numbers, tables, and graphs... found out how many native and nonnative speakers responded to my teacher survey, and... hope that i'll have more! i have 90 responses from teachers. i'd be happy with 100 :)

about letters of rejection: the first one i got was expected, since i had applied a few weeks after the deadline had passed. the second one came and said tons of things i didn't understand except "negativen" and in the sentence "ich muss Ihnen leider mitteilen dass wir Ihre Bewerbung nicht berücksichtigen konnen" i understood leider and nicht! and figured that it was better for me to be rejected, since one of the requirements was to be fluent in german... and i could barely understand the letter of rejection... huhuh. the third one was a bit more surprising, and i got it today. last week, during out "job placement" meeting, i asked about the speed of rejection letters and was told that those would come really late because people didn't want to say NO to you until they had a contract signed. well i guess that's not always the case, because i got one of these letters today. and what did i think, honestly? 1) it's their loss; 2) one less interview to worry about. ok, i know this sounds horrible, but i'm REALLY worried about those interviews (not about the people, i love meeting new people and i'm very confortable with that, but about the questions i'll be asked).

i've done a lot of clean-up on my webpages. i guess this place will become more "professional" and less "personal"... kinda. i keep reading contradicting articles about doing a job search and having a blog... so my thoughts on this are the following: i don't have a husband, i don't have kids, i don't have a boyfriend, i don't have a tv, i don't like parties with a lot of smoke and drinking... so basically, i go to work, come home, play with my cats for a few minutes, and work. having a way to keep in touch with my friends and family and to express how things are going with my research IS legitimate and there's nothing bad about it. and i also need a place where 1) i record things that i'm doing, because it really helps me keep track of the work that's being done, and 2) i can talk to myself about what's going on in my life, because no one else will listen ;)

nighty night everyone!

chapter 4

hehe, it's funny to think that i'm starting chapter 4. out of 5. crazy. ok, i need to finish chapter 3, but i can't really do that because i need to describe the participants and i don't know who the participants to the second part of my study will be. so... i can only do so much on chapter 3.

i've created nice (and long!!) tables and graphs, and only have to work on the last sections: limitations and research problems with this kind of study (IRB, etc.). i can make the last section as long as i want, really, but i'm a little scared by the limitations section.

i've printed the first big section of statistical results and it's helped a LOT. i was able to put little color stickers to organize the sections, to circle the stuff that i needed the most, and to go back and forth between pages without losing my mind. i've not printed the second big section of resuts because i've realized that i don't need it for my chapter 3. so i've told margie that i'd finish chapter 3 by the end of the year... haha, i'll sure have a fun thanksgiving break :)

i felt completely overwhelmed until last week, but since i've printed this first section of results and realized that right now, i only need to work on chapter 3, it's been much better. also, i've decided to go back to my original research questions, for chapter 4, and to start with that to write the outline of my chapter 4. it'll keep me focused and will help me eliminate all the stuff that i COULD discuss but won't, because it was not in the original questions.

ok, back to work.

[edited]

progrès

got all the ANOVAs done, but i don't know where to start looking for things to discuss in the 700+ pages of results i got... i haven't been able to start working on the 600+ pages of stuff i previously got (basic statistics) because it's so much it's overwhelming and i don't know where to start, what to do, where to go, what to keep, and what to not use. now with the ANOVAs, it's even worse. got the crombach alpha though, and that's short and easy to understand... and it looks pretty good so far.

[edited]

i'm going to print (yes, back to back) and bind the stats, because i can't see anything on a computer screen. i need to be able to circle, annotate, and use different colors on those numbers to keep track of things or else i'm going to go insane.

interview

had my first job interview today. excellente learning experience :) and i know now how i react to this kind of stress: well. good. for more details, go somewhere else... if you speak french.

oh, i sent the final questionnaires/letters/stamps (only $185 this time!)/envelopes/labels/directions to 15 schools on friday. forgot to send an email to the school directors to tell them about it, though. i need to do this asap. so far, i have 18 responses from directors, and 89 from teachers. i hope i'll get more soon.

on strike

sometimes, i just have to stop doing stuff. i'm taking a few days off. i need to gather some sleep and energy to survive until the end of the semester! 3.5 more weeks to go!

OH-MY-GOD

stop with the food!!!! i must have gained 10 lbs in 2 days already!! this is serious business, nothing like "teacher conferences." breakfast, one session, coffee break, one session, snacks, one session, lunch, one session, snacks, one session, coffee break, one session, reception, dinner, dessert buffet at the derby race tracks, cocktails, ... no time to think, but a lot of great times talking with people and making contact and learning cool things. it's funny to meet people from universities where i've sent job applications to. unfortunately, these people work in student services/administration and not in teaching, so no one would actually see my job applications, but i don't think it matters. i think that what matters is the networking, the chatting, the friendships, the business cards, the discussions... i'm not sleeping at all but having a lot of fun! and louisville is a VERY, very cool town, internationally and culturally speaking! i'd never thought i'd say this but it's definitely a place where i would be happy to work and live. not too big, not too small.

talking about a place to live, here's a great news, the greatest news in a long time: I HAVE STARTED WORKING ON MY APPLICATION FOR A CANADIAN RESIDENCY PERMIT! yep, don't need a job to do that. i have the money, the time, the education, the language skills, the work experience, and ... if i ever get an interview for a job in canada, i can say "it's true, i'm not a canadian citizen, but i've applied for residency 3 months ago!" this is a BIG turning point, a big decision. i talked with an immigration councelor from the canadian consulate at detroit, today, and asked her about the medical stuff that's been worrying me, and about the jobs that i might not get, and she said that their goals is to give residency visas to 300.000 people per year, now, so my chances were excellent! she also said two incredible things about international students: 1) students can now work TWO years in canada after the end of their studies (only 1 year until now, and only 1 year in the US), and 2), students can work OFF-CAMPUS and not just on-campus the way it had been (and is too, in the US) for ever! This is amazing! of course i can't take advantage of any of those opportunities, but it's still amazing, given daily new restrictions regarding student immigration in the US.

so there, i don't need a job to get a residency permit and live in canada. this is just too cool. i am going, if i don't get my dream job in the US or even in canada!

quick hello

nafsa is fun so far. i'm meeting lots of people from different backgrounds and places. one thing i can say, so far, is that it's a serious conference, very different from tesol. and they FEED us all the time: welcome reception (tons of free food), "make friends" dinner, first timer breakfast, plenary luncheon, no-host dinner, etc. etc.! and they never give us a free minute. i got here at 2:30 pm (only took me 2.5 hours to get here because i drove really fast) and i haven't had a minute to myself since them! but it's been fun and interesting. louisville seems to be a cool place, i'd say probably 5/8 as cool as ann arbor, pretty, with the river, and with a nice downtown area and tons of cool restaurants and specialty stores. i'll check if they offer a job somewhere around here.

ok, i'm exhausted and have to wake up super early for the 7:30 breakfast tomorrow... nighty night!

oh, and staying at the hotel where the conference takes place is AWESOME! something i'll always try to do from now on, even if i have to pay more.

i am so damn lazy sometimes!!!

got all the stats i could get from the data. myself. hehe, i can use SAS... a little. 694 pages of results. enough for a good 3rd chapter and the begining of the 4th one. now i just have to write things down. but lately i haven't even been able to grade 25 papers, i'm feeling completely incapable of doing anything at all.

ps. do you guys see the menu to the right? if not, what browser/OS do you use?

next

i have 19 stamps left from last time, and i need only 77, this time, and i still have enough envelopes. i need to write 15 letters and new directions for the distribution of the questionnaires. plus i'll re-send a copy of each questionnaire to everyone. we'll try to get all this done on friday, hopefully.

i'm trying to sort out through the massive amounts of data that i've got. there are tons of things that i need to "clean up" (like typos, that get counted in the analysis, etc.) and yesterday, veronica and i compared our two sets of data: 175 mistakes... out of 17622 entries, including tons of places where veronica entered 0 and i entered a blank space, when students didn't respond to a question. that's less than 1% of mistakes. excellent. so now, i use what i can use and clean the rest so next week we can do that big analyses, because right now it's mostly demographics and stuff.

i'm totally mad that there is no SAS for macs!

jobs

so i'm going to apply to no more than 9 more jobs: 4 next weekend and maybe 4/5 more if anything comes up later. that's the goal. i feel like staying more and more every day. and i want a good dissertation. period.